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WHY YOUR FRIENDS CAN’T STAND YOU AFTER YOU GET DUMPED!

WHY YOUR FRIENDS CAN’T STAND YOU AFTER YOU GET DUMPED!
Why Your Friends  Can’t Stand You After You Get Dumped! By: Comedian Tyson Paul When it comes to love, breaking up with someone is a lot like a form of employee termination. Your boss, which in this case will be your soon to be ex bf/gf will call you into their office and will butter you up letting you know how great of a person you are and that you’re destined for great things all before dropping the bomb on you and letting you know that things are just not working out for whatever reason and they have to let you go. Now all of us handle termination differently, some of us shake it off like we only missed the 1st of two free throws in the 1st quarter, while the other 98% fall into a deep depression leaving us completely unstable. There’s an old saying that “Misery loves completely!” and it never fails in love, because when one of your friends gets dumped…everyone close to them will feel the effects of it. Now we get it, you invested alot into the relationship and we will be there for you during your grieving period, hoping that sooner rather than later you will bounce back stronger than before. Okay times up! It’s been six months-a year and you’re still grieving. You’re friends love you and since they love you, they won’t tell what they are truly feeling right now, which means the things that you’re doing are very annoying. Today, Kaboom! Magazine will explore a lot of the things that you’re are doing that your friends can’t stand right now, but won’t tell because they know “You’re just getting over a break-up!” Here is why we can’t stand you after a break-up….. Can-t-Hardly-Wait-seth-green-292263_700_550 1. Because you still want to be friends with the asshole that dumped you!: Imagine you’re boss firing you from your job in front of everyone, then calling you the next morning and saying ” Hey! (Your Name) I know we fired you yesterday, but if you want to, you can come in and work for free and without benefits.”…sounds retarded right? Well that’s exactly what you’re doing by still wanting to be friends with your ex. “We can still be friends.” has to be without a shadow of a doubt the biggest lie ever said in the history of mankind. We’ve all fell for that line from time to time, but what the person is really saying to you is “I like doing asshole stuff, but please don’t call me an asshole.” You’re so into “being friends” with your ex that you can’t even enjoy your blessing in disguise by being single. Lets just call a spade a spade, the whole “Let’s be friends” deal that you got going is just a way for you or your ex to keep tabs on each other without being considered “stalkers”. So Instead of playing this cat and mouse game with your ex, why don’t you just cut your losses and move on. You already have enough friends as it is, so losing a fake one won’t kill you. he_s_just_not_that_into_you1 2. You’re looking for something that will never be found….CLOSURE!: Now you may be seeking a therapist, preacher, or bartender to answer your questions, but let me save you a lot of time and a lot of money by saying CLOSURE IN A RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T EXIST! TV Shows do this to us all the time, they build up a cult following, leave us on the edge of our seats with a cliffhanger for next season, only to be canceled leaving us always wondering “What If?”. Just like canceled TV Shows, you will always have questions or 2nd thoughts on what you could’ve done to save the relationship and even if you do get those answered, they will just lead to more questions causing a never-ending cycle of craziness. Like we said before, you gotta learn when to cut your losses. photo-Boyz-N-the-Hood-1991-4 3. You cry….ALOT!: It’s perfectly okay, and completely normal, to cry after a breakup. When years were emotionally invested into someone and all of sudden it comes to an end…it can be a little overwhelming. Eventhough it may be your first brush with heartache or No. 100, you gotta remember it’s just the end of a relationship, life does go on. It not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up. The person that broke up with you is out loving life, so why would you give them the satisfaction of letting them see that they have gotten the best of you. Suck it up and get to know your inner pimp game and get out there and enjoy life. Shit bang out 38 hoodrats if you have to if it gets you out of this funk. Jennifer-Aniston-Brad-Pitt 4. You can’t let them go!: You still talk to their relatives, you always bring up memories that you and them shared together in conversations that has nothing to do with them, you even still sleep in their old pjs (Which is weird if you’re a man); There will always be feelings there, but the past should stay where they’re at…IN THE PAST. Many people feel that this the hardest part of the break-up process. Some would even say that this is your “make or break” moment. Many people have been single for years because they couldn’t let go of their past relationship and sometimes that’s the reason why people don’t let new people in their lives that would actually be pretty good for them. If it is meant to be, it will be, but in the meantime, take down all those pics you still got up on Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter, delete their number out of your phone, delete their relatives out of your life, anything that reminds you of them get rid of it. You’re not avoiding them or hiding from them, you’re helping yourself move on. blog180708_zac2 5. You always wanna go to the gym: When you were in a relationship, we couldn’t get you to go to the gym to save your life. Now that you got dumped, you’re in the gym more than the weights. Now there’s nothing wrong with going to the gym and trying to get fit, but setting-up your meals for the week and trying to tell people how their body fat is unhealthy for them is starting to get a little out hand. Don’t use getting dumped as an excuse to become the next Arnold, because best believe we will not allow you to say your exes name in your Mr. Universe award speeches. You wanna be a gym rat, than be my guest, but just wanna let you know there’s other things you can do to occupy your time than lifting weights….O yeah and FYI your Fruit Smoothies that you had us drink yesterday SUCKED! The-X-Files-the-x-files-19911050-1200-1500 6. You allow your ex to determined where you go: Most friends biggest pet peeves is when another friend ask questions like “Who gonna be there?” Or “Who did you invite?” . We can’t control how people live their lives, so please stop acting like we can. No one cares if your ex shows up at the same bar or nightclub as you, and if that does happen just keep it casual at best and keep it moving and enjoy your evening. The best way to piss off an ex is to act like they never existed ever. They know that it’s a front, but it still gets under there skin a little bit. Can-t-Hardly-Wait-seth-green-292273_700_550 7. You want everyone to feel sorry for you: Whether you just met them 2 seconds ago or known them all your life, you feel that everyone should feel sorry for you like you’re the only person to ever get dumped. The best way to ruin a 1st date or any conversation is by talking about your past. The world is not a kind place and it shouldn’t be because we all got are own problems to deal with.So stop thinking that everyone should give you special treatment, stop making excuses for yourself, stop being upset, and start living your life. The moral of the story is you win some and you lose some. When you’re up, you never think you’re coming down and when you’re down you never think you’re gonna get back up again, which neither is the case because life always goes on and you will not have bad luck forever. So with that said….cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it!