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Love can be very confusing at times! Kaboom! Magazine wants to help you with this crazy little thing called love in the form of our sex/relationship segment entitled “That’s The Way Love Goes.” #TTWLG is where Kaboom! Magazine allows fans and viewers of our exclusive website the chance to have their questions on sex, heartbreak, relationships, and love to be answered by their favorite celebrities/entertainment personalities. Today, Kaboom! fans receive lovely advice from actress Liana Mendoza. The Los Angeles native has been seen in TV shows such as American Horror Story, Ray Donovan, Better Call Saul, Scandal, and the cult classic Zane’s Sex Chronicles. Liana has also had quite a career on the big screen, as she has been apart of Hollywood most noticeable films like The Love Guru, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, A Haunted House, and School Dance. Let’s put her opinions on love to the test as we see how Liana handles difficult situations such as fool’s love, trying connect with an ex, love & friendship, and many more.
Liana Mendoza Info:
Age: Although I hate to admit, 32! (Laughs)
Zodiac Sign: SCORPIO 😉
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Personal Website: www.imdb.me/lianamendoza
If you could have the career of one person (past or present) who it would have to be…..: Lucille Ball
Does True Love exist: Yes, absolutely!
You know you’re in love when….: You love yourself first & then you can actually have the capacity to love another despite their flaws, it’s a CHOICE not a just a feeling. Until then, you’re just learning how to love yourself.
Why should someone take your advice on love: Well, I do my best to stay away from the word “should” because it creates a forceful feeling and perhaps Love isn’t forceful at all. It blooms. I feel that I have a certain unconventional ideal of what TRUE LOVE is and that my ideas of it won’t necessarily resonate with everyone. So before you hear what I have to say about LOVE, know that whatever I say that resonates with your spirit, keep that. Throw the rest away because it doesn’t belong to you. We can learn from any and everyone.
I recently just turned 28 and I met a guy through a friend of mines and he started coming to the bar I worked at daily. He never showed any interest romantically for a while and I wondered what his deal was? So I asked a friend to casually ask him what was happening between us, his response was that he was getting to know me. Puzzled by this response, I then decided to start flirting with him. About two months later our relationship started and I was being introduced as his girlfriend. Now, about three months into the relationship, I feel like he’s not totally into me. He has a business that consumes him, mentally, entirely and he only pays attention to me when he has no other commitments. Its confusing cause he does nothing wrong, but his communication and the way he treats me is seeming quite casual, I mean he does the routine stuff, but hardly goes out of his way to make an effort. I swallowed my pride and spoke to him about it and I’m noticing that he’s not quite getting it from my point of view. I’ve tried to move on and live my own life, but then he responds by calling and texting, appearing to be confused by my disappearance. I know I might be wrong so I need a little help, I also don’t want to lose out on a good guy for a silly reason when there might be an explanation or solution to the problem. I’m also a realist so I don’t want to hang around till he finds what it is he’s looking for, he kind of tries to make up for it by calling more or trying to say things he thinks I want to hear, nothing sincere in my books. Should I stick around or call it a day?
Bye Bye Mr. Nice Guy?
Hi There Bye Bye Mr. Nice Guy?,
Before I get into why I am about to say what I am about to say I have to say this….(Laughs) STICK AROUND!
As we become more mature we learn lessons in life and this man is teaching you one of them. First, let’s examine the FACTS. Not ideas floating around in that beautiful mind. Ideas, feelings, emotions and all that stuff come and go. FACTS ARE FACTS however and I tend to lean more towards facts these days. I’ve learned my fair share of lessons by losing the ones I should have held onto.
FACT: He introduces you as his girlfriend
FACT: He tries harder when you mention your disappointment.
FACT: Men love to be praised more than ridiculed.
FACT: Being grateful for moments breeds more of those moments.
FACT: What you give your attention to expands.
FACT: He waited around like a gentleman wanting to get to know you.
FACT: Once he got you, he is working hard as a man to potentially create a future for you BOTH if you stick around and continue to bring joy into his life.
FACT: Men have feelings too, they just have a harder time expressing them.
Okay my love, now that we got those facts out of the way I want to explain a few things. Guys have an idea in their mind of how their life should go. There is a lot of pressure they don’t talk about that society deems and measures up just “how much of a man you are” based on a few things…income, success and ability to provide for a family. Sad but true, this still is in place. Now that he has his love, YOU, that’s one less thing he has to worry about. Unless of course, you’re not happy. This distracts him from the mission he seems to be on to create a worthwhile future for his future wife and family. If I was you, i’d see that this is EXACTLY the kind of man you want. You don’t want a person with too much time on their hands to devote to you. There will be no fruitful future for you my dear! You def want a man that has ambition and drive and is inspired to do so. I know it’s tough when you miss him or feel like you’re not getting enough attention but that brings me to the first statement I made about TRUE LOVE. You HAVE to love yourself first. So, my suggestion is, while he’s busy capturing his goals you get busy with some of your own! Love YOURSELF and make YOURSELF happy and then when you do see him again it will ignite the fire and joy in a bigger way than before! Take a new class, learn a new language, get a massage, have girls night out, get busy living! When you pull back, don’t let it be out of anger or resentment that he chases you, that gets old very quick for me. Pull back because you were so busy loving your life that you forgot to check your phone. Men LOVE happy women. I say you stick around and make a list of your personal life priorities and see if yours match his 😉 28 is so close to 30’s and I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes I did my precious one. Hope this helps! Love you!
I’m 18 and single in my 1st year at Pepperdine University. I recently went to my first college party when my dorm rented a party bus to take us to a secret “Students Only” ABC party. On the bus, everyone was playing around on Snapchat and I got my phone out with my account open and one of the girls was sitting by me and she snatched my phone and added me to the app. The next couple of days after party, we started snapping just joking around, then she started sending selfies and sometimes saying she was ugly randomly. On the bus she’ll start talking to me about some of our Snapchat convos and at school when we see each other in the dorms she yells things like “He’s Gay!” and jokes around about me to her friends. She has a boyfriend that I’m kind of friends with and she doesn’t talk to me around him. On Snapchat it seems like she kind of likes me and I think I kind of know what it means when girls send you selfies and say their ugly and she is totally different towards me when were sort of alone. What could the deal be with this situation? How should I handle her?
Hi Snapchat Clapback!
Hope you’re well! Sheesh, this gal sounds like trouble. I’m all about protecting you a bit, especially as a girl/woman I think we send a lot of mixed messages to guys when we aren’t sure who we are in life and/or what we want. This girl is labeled as “trouble” to me because, as I did with the other reader, let’s explore the FACTS.
FACT: She has a BF.
FACT: She is saying “He’s Gay” #rudeandunnecessary (which btw whether you are or not has no baring on you as a person which means she doesn’t appreciate you as a whole person. Now if she went around saying “He’s an awesome person” that would be different because commenting on your personality and not your sexuality is more complimentary. Someone’s sexuality has nothing to do with how amazing of valuable they are as a human being. It feels like she’s playing games.
FACT: She doesn’t talk to you around her BF. More games.
FACT: She sends you personal photos on snapchat fishing for compliments. #lameandinsecure
FACT: YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM THIS GIRL AND FIND SOMEONE THAT DESERVES YOU AND DOESN’T HIDE BEHIND GAMES. YOU’RE YOUNG, SINGLE AND FRESH IN SCHOOL. LIVE IT UP AND LOVE AWAY FROM HER!
My best friend and his girlfriend have only been dating for 4 months. He’s told me that he has never felt this way about any other girl and that she might be the main chick for life. I’ve only hung out with them together a few times and every time I have been around them, she has talked to him all kinds of crazy. I can understand that relationships have their problems, but I know my best friend better than anyone and I can tell that he feels less of a man when she’s talking crazy to him. I’ve held my tongue each time she’s embarrassed him in public or amongst friends up to this point, but I’m starting to feel like I need to step in and tell this girl something. My girlfriend (I’m a lesbian) doesn’t like the way she talks to him either, but she’s told me to leave it alone because I shouldn’t fight my best friend’s battles for him. I’m kinda caught in a “Catch 22” because I know my friend should say something, but I’m not one of those girls that just let you embarrass my friends while I’m around. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
On The Outside Looking to Step In.
Hi On The Outside Looking to Step In!
First of all CONGRATULATIONS! On being a REAL FRIEND. Sometimes we can’t see things clearly when we “think” we are in “love”. This is NOT love btw. This is something your friend is needing to learn right now. Sometimes we have to have our friends help us to see that. The exact plan of action I would take if I was in your shoes is have a heart to heart with my buddy. I’d say (and follow this exact script so your friend doesn’t go into defend her mode) “Dude, from what I can see she SOMETIMES talks to you like shit man. What’s that all about?” Ask QUESTIONS to try to get to know their relationship better and why he thinks she the one and then simply stay QUIET…let your friend vent and REALLY LISTEN CAREFULLY to what they say next. Is he making excuses, does he like and enjoy it, is she different when they’re alone? etc. Believe it or not, some people actually ENJOY being talked to terribly. I know it sounds strange but some people even have fetishes like this. So in order to make sure your friend doesn’t lose your closeness with you, really listen without defending anyone. Just take the time to understand which is the ultimate loving thing to do in any situation. Don’t talk to her AT ALL about it. The moment you create any kind of rift between those two that are in the relationship sounds like she will be the kind to manipulate that friendship to me. Sad to say since I am a woman but we can definitely be manipulative. Don’t risk your friendship over this chick. She’ll be gone soon enough…unless of course you find out he’s into that sort of thing. Hope this helps! Keep your friendship in tact at all costs. Be an open ear and don’t try to convince your friend out of anything. If anything say things like “wow, you def are a good person, hope she appreciates that” so he can realize his true worth.
My ex-girlfriend and I haven’t spoken to each other or seen each other in years. I thought we didn’t breakup on bad terms, but every time I’ve sent her a friend request on social media, she’s denied it and every time I’ve messaged her she’s never responded.. We do have mutual friends and when I’ve talked to them about it they’ve all told me the same thing “She doesn’t hate you, it’s just hard for her to talk to you.” I’ve always thought that no matter what, we would always be able to talk to each other, but the more she stays distance the more I feel like maybe I was a bad boyfriend. Do you think we will ever speak to each other again?
Things Left Unsaid
Hi Things Left Unsaid,
YOU ARE NOT A BAD BOYFRIEND! If you were, you wouldn’t have attracted her in the first place. Speaking as a female on my side of things, we are very emotional creatures. I wish I knew how long you all were together before your break up so I can give you an even better perspective but what it really comes down to in all honesty is this: When we truly care deeply for someone and it doesn’t work out for us, it leaves a little scar or bruise on our heart…sometimes forever and it’s just too hard to look at for the time being. I once went through a very sad break up and it took 10 years before I could even look at his photo without tears coming up for me. If anything, this shows you were a really GOOD boyfriend. And THAT is why it’s just “hard for her to talk to you.” Since you both have mutual friends, if I was you and it seems you do want to really speak to her and have her in your life. I would A. Tell them, oh okay well, tell her “I understand it’s hard. It’s hard for me too sometimes, I get it and I hope she’s well” and leave it alone. B. Leave her alone. After the message sent through the mutual friends she will see that you relate to her pain and you respect her. She will eventually come around if she’s given that space to heal in her own time. As I said, for me, it took 10 years but I eventually came looking for him. By then sadly, he was already married with kids. Give her the space she needs, send the message via mutual friends and then in about a month or so after suggest via your mutual friends “we should all do something together!” #squadgoals with a no pressure attitude i’m sure you’ll eventually get your friend portion back. If not, perhaps she will regret it later the way I did. For now, send the message, leave it alone and live your life to the fullest! We can not control others, we only can control ourselves.
I’m 32 and I dated my ex-boyfriend for 6 years (high school/college sweethearts), but we broke up because he joined the military and I was pursuing a nursing degree that turned into a doctor’s degree. We did stay in touch throughout the years and we were always the first to congratulate each other on our career accomplishments. I even attended his wedding two years ago when he returned home from Iraq. A few months ago, we met up for dinner when I was in town and he started telling me that he often thinks about what life would be like if we stayed together. I didn’t want to tell him this, but in my mind I was thinking “Is he reading my mind right now? because I always think about the same thing.” It didn’t help that the waitress assumed that we were husband and wife which led him to start talking about how we were perfect together. After dinner, his wife called him and said she was working late, but that she wanted him to take me to this bar that they always go to when she gets off. I said okay, but I had to go back to my hotel room and change. We had about two hours to kill, so he walked me back to my hotel room. While waiting on me to change, he made a joke about what if his wife set it up where there was camera in the hotel room to see if we would have sex with each other? I knew he was joking so I sarcastically said “She did, but that’s only because she wants to know what the best sex of your life looks like.” We kept joking about it, coming up with different scenarios, but really all it was doing was making us both extremely horny. I could lie and say that nothing happened, but we just couldn’t control our curiousness and we ended up having very dirty hotel sex. I did feel very dirty, but a part of me felt very happy too, kinda like I was filling a void. That happiness ended when we met his wife at the bar because like a light switch he went from having sex with me to acting like the entire night didn’t happened. I felt very used because I thought he loved me and my friendship like it was one-of-a-kind; but at the bar, I realized that he has loved every woman he was ever emotionally with the same. Ever since that night, I’ve changed the way I think men love women. I just feel like men are just in love with women and not just a woman. I just look at men now and just feel that every woman I see them with is easily replaceable. Am right or am I wrong?
The Moveable Object
Hello My Love,
First of all I would like to commend you on your bravery to be honest. This is the only way to find the truth you are seeking. Let’s explore the facts first before I give you the run down on my opinion. Not as judgements, just as facts. Sound fair? Okay, here goes:
FACT: He’s Married
FACT: You two are ex’s
FACT: You both wondered what life would be like if you both had ended up together (a very romantic ideas)
You both probably knew or hoped what was going to happen the moment you started to head to your hotel room. Either way, even if you didn’t know my love, it’s so easy to idealize someone when you don’t live with them day to day with all their burps and farts and flaws. The ideas and feelings we can come up with on our own are quite fantastic! Our imagination is truly a great gift if used properly. That being said my dear, it sounds like you finally had what’s called CLOSURE. There are 5 stages of loss when we lose someone or something very significant in life. The final stage of that loss in order for you to move on into your joyful life is CLOSURE. That’s why you felt happy. You finally got the missing piece to your life’s puzzle on this one so you can move on and as an amazing DOCTOR none the less! Go you! The void you were filling was for yourself. He didn’t do that for you. You did. When you met up with his wife later, the only reason you felt “used” was because you realized you too also deserve a love and marriage as deep as theirs. His wife trusted him enough to be with an ex lover and think nothing of it. That’s exemplary and truly love. He did love you my dear at one time, the way he knew how to back then. He now loves his wife a different way. You just both needed closure and to finally close that door on your past love together. It’s a bitter sweet ending but also a very new beginning for you. I will say this. Men do LUST after many women yes. But to love one? That’s another story. You saw two examples right there in front of you. He lusted for you that night. He doesn’t know you deeply anymore as you are now. And yet he loves her. He stays with her, he won’t leave her. He loves her deeply enough to vow his life with her! That’s huge! I wouldn’t say you were used at all though my sweet. I’d say that this closure was the last missing piece you needed to realize you too deserve REAL, TRUE, LONG LASTING, LIFETIME VOWED LOVE. Just as she and he found. His wife is not replaceable. You two shared a moment. And they will hopefully share a lifetime. And neither are you replaceable. No one can ever take away what you two shared in your past but it is past. You have to find the man that is right for you and knows that he cherishes you so deeply not even an ex beautiful girlfriend could take him away from your side. I hope this helps. Please stay open and beautiful and vulnerable. Don’t allow this one act of passion and you both needing closure to see men with bitterness in your heart. You’re much too beautiful and irresistible for that.
Last night I was at the bar for a friend’s birthday. At one point in the night, I walked to the bar to grab a beer. While I was waiting for the bartender to take my order I noticed this cute chick sitting right next to me.. I said hi and asked her how her night was going? She said “pretty good.” I told the bartender I just wanted a beer, he told me how much it was, but I was gonna start a tab, so I was looking for my debit card in my wallet. While I was looking for my card, the chick sitting next me just told the bartender “Put it on my tab!” I couldn’t believe it because a girl never brought a drink for me. I told her thank you and offered to buy her a drink at some point in the evening. She told me that I didn’t have to and then proceeds to say that she was just putting it on her tab because she was just being nice. I was so confused because I’ve never seen a woman do anything in a bar just to be nice. I’m starting to think she did like me in the beginning, but somewhere in the conversation I ruined it and she was turned off. So I’m asking you if there’s a new trend going on where women are just being nice in bars and nightclubs or did I just blow my opportunity at some point and when did it happen?
Hi Bar Fails!
There is a new trend first of all. It does usually however show she was interested in the same way men do this for women they are attracted to. I wouldn’t say you blew it because you didn’t really tell me what your conversation was about. I mean how do you know she was turned off? Did you ask for her number? Did you get too excited? What did you talk about? I have so many questions! My best advice on this since the situation is trending is to react the way a woman would and flirty say “thanks so much, and just what are your intentions with me young lady?” and laugh as if it’s a joke then stay quiet. If they blush or laugh too then you may have a shot at their interest 😉 if they get serious and say “just to be nice” then it truly was just a kind gesture. Hope that helps! I’m sure it will happen again at some point. Us gals are taking the initiative a lot more lately. I mean, look at bumble 😉 we’re doing a lot of the chasing these days cause more of us know more and more of exactly what we want 😉
FOLLOW LIANA MENDOZA ON THESE FOLLOWING SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITES:
Personal Website: www.imdb.me/lianamendoza
And that’s the way love goes! Do you have a situation in love that you need some advice with? Well allow some of our favorite celebrities or entertainment personalities to help you in the ways of love. Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM us on social media using the hastag #TTWLG